After The MBA

Turning 32: The Twelve Most Important Lessons I’ve Learned So Far

 

Today is my birthday – always an opportunity for reflection, but not especially this time because 32 is a not a major milestone like turning 60. For several weeks now, I’ve been thinking about what I’ve learned during the past 3.2 decades that really matters. Here’s a first pass:

 1.)    Don’t forget the sunscreen. Everyone looks good in 22-year-old skin. 32-year-old skin is a different matter. It's hard to undo sun damage and all the sun damage that you accumulated kicks in around your mid 20s. Unless you want to look all wrinkly and twice your age when you hit your mid 20s, use sunscreen on a regular basis, and especially on your face (facial moisturizer with SPF 15 FTW!).  

2.)    Life goes by faster than you think. As you get older, time seems to go by faster and faster because you get busier with more responsibilities. Also, as you get older and gain more life experience, time becomes less significant so 1 year of time will seem relatively less relevant to a 50 year old than it would to an 10 year old (i.e. 1/50 is less than 1/10). Because life goes by fast (and increasingly faster over time), we should live every day to the fullest and to gain as many new experiences as possible while we can. To put it in perspective, the average 30 year old American has roughly 17,000 days remaining before they die. You don’t have that many days to waste doing nothing.

3.)    Switch to Fresh Wipes. Toilet paper is so 20^th century.  Fresh Wipes are superior to toilet paper in every conceivable way and once you experience that clean, fresh feeling after wiping, there is just no going back.   

4.)    Don’t drag out long-term relationships. 3-5 years is plenty of time to figure out if a relationship will lead towards marriage. Dragging out a relationship (for years) unnecessarily is bad because it wastes everyone’s time and it only makes it that much harder during the inevitable breakup. I’ve seen this happen to many friends and I was guilty of this offense myself but if you’ve been dating the same person for several years and it isn’t clearly leading towards marriage, you should both move on and see other people. 

5.)    Don’t spend your entire life in one place. I spent my childhood in Houston, my 20s in New York City and the past few years in San Francisco and this experience was invaluable towards my personal development because you gain new perspectives on life from living in different places. Every city/region has its pros and cons but you will never know them until you’ve lived somewhere else and have something to compare with.  

6.)    People who are upset don’t want advice. They want understanding. Gentlemen take heed; this is especially true with angry girlfriends and it will help you avoid the doghouse. Empathetic listening means you are taking the time to understand why someone is upset rather than waiting for your turn to talk. 

7.)    Take the CFA/CPA/GMAT/other standardized tests as early as possible. If there is the slightest possibility that you will ever sit for the CFA/CPA/GMAT exams, you should take them as early as possible in life because coming out of college, you will be in the best test taking shape of your life. Cramming in tons of material will only get harder as you get older and as you toil away in the working world. Plus, your GMAT scores will be good for 5 years so you’ll have ample time to decide whether you want to apply to grad school or not. 

8.)    Volunteer at least once a year. It’s always important to give back to the community but by volunteering at least once a year, you’ll be reminded of those who are less fortunate and you’ll be more appreciative of what you do have.  

9.)    Rain-X is awesome. I wish I started using Rain-X earlier in life because it pretty much renders windshield wipers obsolete. With a fresh coat of Rain-X on my windshields, I could do a 4-hour drive from Ithaca, NY to NYC in the pouring rain without ever having turned on my wipers once.  

10.) It’s not what you know but who you know. Your personal network will be far more important to your career development than your GPA or how well you did in the toughest class in your major. At the end of the day, people want to work with others that they know and trust over someone that they don’t know but who may have gotten a perfect 4.0 GPA. There are plenty of people who got amazing grades but are a nightmare to work with.

11.) Don’t move to San Francisco without a girlfriend. The general consensus amongst single guys in the Bay Area is that the dating scene is terrible. I completely agree with that sentiment. San Jose to San Francisco is dominated by the tech industry, which heavily skews towards males. What makes SF especially imbalanced is because that’s where single guys in the Bay Area converge to hang out and party so it's not uncommon to see a lounge/club with a guy:girl ratio of 2:1 or 3:1. With the huge surplus in men, the chances of meeting a nice girl in the Bay Area are much lower compared to other cities.

Here’s a list of the most gender imbalanced cities (guess who ranks in the top 2 for more men?): http://www.bestplaces.net/docs/studies/solocities_gap1.aspx

12.)  All single women should move to San Francisco. I tell all my single female friends that don’t live in the Bay Area to move to San Francisco. San Francisco has tons of nice single guys who are well educated and have great careers. In fact, due to the gender imbalance, women will instantly become 33.3% (estimate based on empirical field research) more desirable simply by being in the Bay Area. I’m not saying all guys in the Bay Area are perfect but at the end of the day, having a good education and a good job should be on every woman’s checklist and it’s very easy to find and date single guys in SF that fulfill those categories. And yes, some women that there are no good guys in the Bay Area but frankly, I’ve heard women say that about any city. 

 

Unconventional MBA Jobs II – Army Officer

I know I’ve been bad about updating my blog. In fact, I was supposed to write my last post back in June 2011, because my original intent was to chronicle my post-MBA life for only 2 years. But nevertheless, there are two more posts that I wanted to make and this is the second to last one.

Are you an MBA from the Class of 2010 or 2009 and still looking for a job? In our first edition of Unconventional MBA jobs, we talked about becoming an FBI Special Agent….  

Something I wanted to do after college but never did (my college sweetheart at the time was against it) was to attend the U.S. Army’s Officer Candidate School (OCS) to become a U.S. Army Commissioned Officer. There are several main steps to the application process:

• Talk to a military recruiter (Try to bring someone with a military background with you so that they can tell you if the recruiter is being honest and accurate. You should have plenty of classmates from B-school who came from the military)
• Application Paperwork (Education and employment background, personal references, medical history, 3 letters of recommendation, essay for why you want to do be an Army Officer, etc.) It will take you longer than you think to complete everything in the application packet.
  
• MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station), basically a hardcore physical exam.
• ASVAB (Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery), a multiple choice test to see how "smart" you are and it will impact what specialties you will be eligible for.
• APFT (Army Physical Fitness Test), two mile run, max pushups and situps in 2 minutes.
• Battalion Board Interview (in person interview)

So why did I not end up joining? Well, the quick answer is that I found another job before I hit my self-imposed deadline for joining the Army. However, the application process takes at least several months and I had already met with a recruiter, started filling out the paperwork and was training for the APFT (Army Physical Fitness test).

I had been regularly hiting the gym so the pushups and situps were cake for me but my cardio was terrible. The minimum requirement for my age group’s two mile run was 17:00 and I was clocking in at 20:00 when I first started training (my first mile split was like 8:00 and my second mile was like 12:00 =P). On the plus side, I lost like 12 lbs in a month from running regularly and I was in the best shape of my life since college.     

You have to want to join the Army. I can’t stress this enough. Although going through OCS and becoming an officer was not exactly my top choice after B-school, it was something I had always wanted to do and I felt I had one last chance to make it happen before I got too old (the max. age for OCS is 35).

Here is a summary of the pros/cons of becoming an Army Officer:

PROS

- You’ll be in great shape while all your classmates put on weight from sitting on their asses behind a desk job (I’ve gained about 20 lbs since I started working at my current job and it isn't all muscle =P)

- Job stability. The Military-Industrial complex cannot be stopped! (sure they can cut the military budget but as an officer with an MBA, you’ll be a rare commodity)

- Women cannot resist a man in uniform. (Female applicants, you’ll probably get mixed results with this one)

- The opportunity and honor of serving ones country.

CONS

- The physical demands of Army life take a heavier toll on your body when you’re 30 years old. Those cuts and bruises that healed overnight in high school will now take days if not weeks.

- You are not going to get rich in the Army but you get your food, housing and healthcare taken care of.

- There is no guarantee which branch you’ll be assigned. Your top choice might be Military Intelligence (doesn’t it sound cool?) but you might end up getting assigned to Field Artillery.

- The transition back to civilian life may be difficult because private sector job recruiters are used to seeing applicants that join the military BEFORE B-school, not the reverse.

- And not surprisingly, you might get KILLED. Dulce et Decorum est pro Patria Mori.

A Suspicious Package

What would you do if you saw a shady-looking middle-aged woman burying a suspicious package outside the entrance of the SF Superior Court building? I was put in this awkward situation during a recent lunch break from jury duty.

The court building also doubles as a police station so I was in shock that this was happening in broad daylight. I looked to the nearest two bystanders and neither of them seemed to notice what had just transpired before them.

“What the heck did that woman just hide in the ground?” I wondered.

Weed? (It is San Francisco after all)

Crack rocks? (I’ve always wondered what crack rocks look like in real life)

Or something more sinister? A bomb perhaps? (After living through 9/11, you assume every stray package is a bomb)

There was no way that I could just walk away without uncovering the contents of the package. So I crouched down and dug it out while running the risk that someone would report me or that a police officer would catch me in the act. I mean, how do you explain to a cop why you’re digging a package out of the ground in front of a court house/police station? And then, there was always the risk that it was an explosive device and my arm would get blown off (apparently, stupidity is curiosity’s best friend).

As I nervously unearthed the plastic bag, I wondered what the street value of my find would be and what I would do with my booty: A.) Re-bury it? B.) Turn it over to the authorities? C.) Bring it to work to show all my co-workers so that they’d believe my story?

It turns out, the plastic bag contained neither crack rocks nor explosives, but a simple pair of metal scissors that were not allowed past security and would have set off the metal detectors.

I went with choice A.) Re-bury it.

Yes. What a lame ending. Don’t worry; you’re just as disappointed as me that there was no secret stash of crack rocks. =P

How To Fight A Traffic Ticket

Most people complain about getting traffic tickets but few ever go on to challenge them. This is probably because most people are probably guilty of their crimes but in my case, I was innocent (I swear). Up until this point, I had a perfect record and I wasn't about to let a questionable citation tarnish my record.

Traffic Court – Pleading Guilty or Not Guilty

When you go to traffic court in the county of San Mateo, if you plead guilty, the judge will cut you a deal and knock $100 off your fine. In my good conscience I could not accept this “bribe” because I knew I was innocent and I had to fight to clear my name of any wrongdoing. Plus, I was willing to forgo $100 in savings to make the police officer show up in court (At the time, I didn’t know they got paid overtime for this).

Almost everyone plead guilty and took the $100 fine reduction but when it was my turn, I looked the judge straight in the eye and said, “Your honor, I wish to plead NOT guilty!” and a court date was set for my case.

Proper Court Attire

First off, you need to dress appropriately when you go to court. You can’t look like a bum because you are presenting yourself to a judge and you want to be respectful. But you don’t want to dress too fancy with a suit and tie because then you will look rich and the judge will think you’re being cheap for fighting the ticket. So what I went with was some slightly wrinkled slacks and a worn dress shirt that I haven’t worn in years. Imagine you have to wear business casual to work but all your good clothes are in the washer/hamper and it’s a slow Friday in the summer so you don't want to bust out your formal attire. That resulting outfit is what you want to wear.They key is to look respectful but poor/working class.

My Case

I was contesting a $220 illegal U-turn ticket. One evening, I had made a U-turn into a parking spot on the other side of the street and apparently further down the block, there was a No U-turn sign (as my police officer had pointed out to me with his flashlight). I felt that I was innocent because:

A.) I was parking on one end of the block and the sign was further down the block beyond my scope of vision. 

B.) The No U-turn sign was poorly marked with faded paint and hard to see. I can’t be blamed for an ambiguously marked street sign. Keep in mind, I was pulled over at night when visibility is far lower than in the middle of the afternoon.

 

The Verdict

The high resolution 8x10 photos that I brought in as evidence mixed in with some playful flirting with the judge (a smile and a good sense of humor go a long way) made me feel pretty good about my chances of winning. In the end, the judge stated that both sides made good arguments and that she would have to drive to where the incident happened to see for herself whether the No U-turn sign was clearly marked. I felt that this was at least a moral victory because I technically didn’t lose— yet.

A few weeks later, I received a notice of decision and it said:

You have been found NOT GUILTY.

ost people complain about getting traffic tickets but few ever go on to challenge them. This is probably because most people are probably guilty of their crimes but in my case, I was innocent (I swear!).

Traffic Court – Pleading Guilty or Not Guilty

When you go to traffic court in the county of San Mateo, if you plead guilty, the judge will cut you a deal and knock $100 off your fine. In my good conscience I could not accept this “bribe” because I knew I was innocent and I had to fight to clear my name of any wrongdoing. Plus, I was willing to forgo $100 in savings to make the police officer show up in court (I didn’t know they got paid overtime for this).

Almost everyone plead guilty and took the $100 fine reduction but when it was my turn, I looked the judge straight in the eye and said, “Your honor, I wish to plead NOT guilty!” and a court date was set for my case.

Proper Court Attire

First off, you need to dress appropriately when you go to court. You can’t look like a bum because you are presenting yourself to a judge and you want to be respectful. But you don’t want to be too fancy with a suit and tie because then you will look rich and the judge will think you’re being cheap for fighting the ticket. So what I went with was some slightly wrinkled slacks and a worn dress shirt that I haven’t worn in years. Imagine you have to wear business casual to work but all your good clothes are in the washer/hamper and it’s a slow Friday in the summer so you don't want to bust out your formal attire. That resulting outfit is what you want to wear.

My Case

I was contesting a $220 illegal U-turn ticket. I had made a U-turn into a parking spot on the other side of the street and apparently further down the block, there was a No U-turn sign (as my police officer had pointed out to me with his flashlight). I felt that I was innocent because A.) I was parking on one end of the block and the sign was further down the block beyond my scope of vision.  B.) The No U-turn sign was poorly marked with faded paint and hard to see. I can’t be blamed for an ambiguously marked street sign.

The Verdict

The high resolution photos that I brought in as evidence mixed in with some playful flirting with the judge (a smile and a good sense of humor go a long way) made me feel pretty good about my chances of winning. In the end, the judge stated that both sides made good arguments and that she would have to drive to where the incident happened to see for herself, whether the No U-turn sign was clearly marked. I felt that this was at least a moral victory because I technically didn’t lose— yet.

A few weeks later, I received a notice of decision and it said: You have been found NOT GUILTY.

The Best Valentine’s Date Idea

Every year when February rolls around, many guys get stressed out about what to do for Valentine’s Day. Many Guys dread February 14^th because it is so commercialized and superficial. Why should you have to be romantic and affectionate on that same date every year? Every day of the year should be Valentine’s Day in my opinion.

And then, there is the ongoing expectation that your upcoming Valentine’s Day surprise will only exceed the ones from years past.

So what is a guy to do to impress his Valentine?

Flowers and chocolates? Too passé.

Dinner at the best restaurant in town? Good luck getting a table because you waited last minute (again) to make plans instead of making reservations months ago.  

A tour of a major adult video production company? Brilliant!

If you happen to live in the Bay Area, Kink.com is headquartered in a Moorish castle (also known as the Armory) right in the Mission District. (I used to live nearby, which is how I found out about this place.) They are the largest producer of fetish entertainment and they reportedly made $20 million in revenue in 2006 and had 70 employees in 2007 (I couldn’t’ find any data that was more recent).

In other words, Kink.com is not a shady, underground porn studio and is a legitimate business that makes decent money. Despite this fact, some people are more conservative than others so the tour is not everyone’s cup of tea. So if your date’s values and beliefs are far to the right, don’t sign up for this tour and especially not for Valentine’s Day!

So how did the tour go? Well basically one of Kink’s “models” escorts you through their facilities and you get to see various sets that they use for production. While walking through dungeons and padded isolation cells, it's easy to forget that this is someone’s “cubicle” Monday through Friday (they don’t film on weekends).

So how did my Valentine’s date go?  She and I both thought the tour was fun and interesting. Sure everyone has seen porn (whether they will admit it or not) but how many people have seen where it is made? But you don’t have to wait a whole year for the next Valentine’s Day to take your date here. They have regularly scheduled tours throughout the year.

Visit http://www.sfarmory.com/tours.php for more info.

My Second Industry Conference

 

 

On January 25^th (yes, I realize this post is long overdue) I attended the Inside Social Apps summit, which was the second industry conference that I've attended during my nascent career in gaming.  

So what did the $399 registration fee net you at lunch you ask? 

 

 

Oh my! So many boxes to choose from!

Ultimately I chose the North Beach Italian Combo (sounds fancy doesn’t it?)

The Italian Combo consisted of a sandwich, bag of chips, a cookie, some pasta salad in condiment containers and an apple. Personally, I felt the lunch at the Virtual Goods Summit was better.

Facebook Holiday Present

I know this post is like 3 months overdue, which is probably because I’ve been so busy with work that I haven’t written a new post in 3 months. I sincerely apologize to everyone for not writing for so long. If it makes you feel better, I've gained 7 lbs in the past 2 months because I haven't time to go to the gym either.

Anyway, flashback to December 2010 and I get an unexpected package from Facebook at work. The box was too small for your customary assortment of chocolates, nuts and other snacks that most business partners send during the holiday season.  Plus, this box had instructions!

Step 1

Step 2 & 3

Step 4

So basically I got a Facebook ceramic cup and a $75 gift card to donate to an educational cause of my choice (unfortunately my student loans don't qualify). What a nice and novel holiday gift from Facebook! Thanks Zuck!

Unconventional MBA Jobs – FBI Agent

What’s a poor unemployed recent MBA grad supposed to do in this terrible job market? They need to think outside the box and look for jobs outside of the usual banking, consulting or brand management path!

Earlier this year, I started looking at careers off the MBA beaten path and one cool job that I found (and applied to) was working as a Special Agent for the FBI!

 

 

There are four main steps to the application process:

• Phase I Written Testing (like an easy LSAT + personality test)
• Phase II Testing (interview and more written tests)
• Physical Fitness Test
• Final Screening (Polygraph, Drug test, Background Check)

Going in for the Phase I test was pretty similar to that scene from “Men In Black” where Will Smith goes in for the interview and everyone else is from the military or law enforcement and looking real serious and wearing suits. Anyway, I ended up passing the Phase I test (Yay! I’m smart enough to be a Special Agent! Nothing like some ego boosting.) and I think I’m technically still in their application pool because it takes 6-12 months to complete the whole application process.

**It is important to note that if you have smoked pot in the last 3 years, you are automatically disqualified **(yes, that one puff you took at that house party during orientation week will come back to haunt you). And they WILL catch you if you lie about smoking pot because you’ll be subjected to a hardcore polygraph test and they’ll probably water board you too (they are the FBI after all).

Here is a summary of the Pros & Cons of working as a Special Agent:

PROS

- “Special Agent” is a pretty cool job title. You are like a real life James Bond. How can the ladies not be turned on?  

- Job stability. The War on Terror never ends!

- You get to carry a gun at all times. How badass is that?

CONS

- There is a reason why you are supposed to carry a gun. (Bad guys might try to kill you)

- Your salary starts at $70K (not exactly MBA money) but it increases to $90K (not bad) after 3 years.

- You will probably be assigned to Podunk, North Dakota for a few years after finishing the FBI academy.

For more information, please visit the FBI Special Agent website:

http://www.fbijobs.gov/112.asp

Halloween Costume Win

I know this post is like 3 weeks past due but it still had to be shared. If you recall, my costume from Halloween 2009 was an epic failure because ZERO people guessed correctly who I was supposed to be, and many more guessed someone who I wasn't supposed to be (damn you William Hung). My goal for Halloween 2010 was for at least ONE person to guess my costume correctly.

This year, I dressed up as Epic Beard Man (of YouTube fame) whose costume is even more obscure yet equally creative. The only difference is that this year’s costume was more recent and the person whom I was imitating was from the Bay Area. This is how it turned out:

Seriously, I don't know what type of Santas some people encountered when they were kids. However, it was definitely refreshing that ZERO people guessed William freakin' Hung this year!

I Can Wear Red Again

So a week ago, I moved out of the Mission neighborhood (the barrio) to the much nicer SOMA neighborhood (young professionals). If you recall, I avoided wearing red clothing in the Mission because it was the color associated with the local gang, the Nortenos. Here are some of the highlights from living in the Mission in the past 14 months: 

• 3 stabbings on my block thus far in 2010 (every incident was gang-related so I need not worry).

• 1 fistfight in front of my house.

• 1 beat down at a local bar (Delerium) where 2 guys were kicking the crap out of a guy on the sidewalk. They also picked up a bicycle and hit him with it. (for the record, I tried to help the poor guy but the bouncer locked the door and stopped anyone from entering/exiting the premises)

• 1 undercover prostitution sting a block away that busted some middle-aged sucker driving a nice BMW.

• 2 guys chasing another guy down the street while trying to club him with a baseball bat.

• 1 crazy World Series victory celebration that involved burning mattresses and a hijacked bus.

• 100+ delicious tacos consumed.

Yes, the World Series street celebrations in the Mission were pure anarchy. There were multiple burning mattresses filling up intersections, which led to me to wonder, “How come people have so many spare mattresses to burn?” I also dodged a bullet because a (drunk?) driver plowed into a crowd of people where I had been standing just a minute earlier and several people were injured. Anyway, here is some home video of the craziness after the SF Giants won the2010 World Series: